Smart Women Say Fuck.

Smart women say fuck. I know many people would disagree with that statement. Those people are wrong.


In all seriousness, the word fuck has become … quite serious to me. I don’t like angry, screaming cursing people. That’s not what fuck is about for me. F-bombs come down to freedom. Do you have the freedom to express how you feel, even if it isn’t popular? Or don’t you? And if you don’t, why not?

I didn’t think much about profanity before I started FYeahJewelry. As I’ve said, FYeahJewelry started as a lark. Just something silly and fun. But people’s reactions fascinated me. It seemed there were a lot of people like me – quiet beings you’d never suspect of cursing like a sailor – who loved the right there in your face (but not really – it is too tiny!) aspect of my jewelry. That was really fun to discover. There are plenty of people who say, meh, not for me. I understand that, too. But the people who get offended – I still haven’t figured that group out. Obviously there isn’t just one reason people get upset by profanity, and profanity by its very nature is meant to provoke a reaction.

However, I have identified a sub-group of people who are offended by the word fuck. And while I know it is not my job to change anyone’s opinion, it is the people in this group that I most want to have a conversation with. This group includes the woman who posted on Facebook that she never curses because when she told her dad “fuck you” once in high school, he hit her.

I respect anyone’s choice to use or not use whatever words they want to express themselves. But the logic here – saying a bad word caused violence, so I just won’t ever say fuck, then I’ll be safe – THAT I have a problem with. (Guess what – it is NEVER OKAY to hit your kid! No matter WHAT she says!) Our society has too long of a history keeping women powerless for me to respectfully toe the line. And the fact that women then use that flawed logic to insist other women be “ladylike” and non-confrontational…well, it is enough to make me fucking scream.

Fortunately, there are many intelligent and talented women who have a much greater reach than I do who are spreading the gospel of fuck. These are women with huge, descriptive and entertaining vocabularies. What follows is a very short list of my favorite real-life cursing women from movies, music, TV and books..

Famous Fucking Ladies who Say Fuck

Anne Lamott. (Have you seen her Facebook post on living a creative life? It went viral. Go to BrainPickings to read the full deal.) I made a key chain quoting her.

Caitlin Moran.

Elizabeth Gilbert.

Tina Fey.

Amy Poehler. (I just listed a new “What kind of fuckery is this?” pendant in her honor.)

Amy Winehouse. I give her credit for terming the phrase “fuckery,” although I’m sure that term has a long and detailed history pre-Me & Mr. Jones.

Or, like Amanda Palmer, they make it part of their very name. Amanda Fucking Palmer. Someday I will get a ukulele. (I’ve been saying that for a couple years now.) I have, however, made a pendant quoting her.

Margaret Atwood. And she’s Canadian, even! (Another stereotype bites the dust.)


Again, just to be crystal fucking clear, I don’t claim that *all* smart women say fuck, but that every woman – every person – should have the ability to say whatever the fuck they want. Smart women say fuck because they can, and should, say what they want to say.

Censorship (currently making a comeback in Russia!) does not lead to happy endings. Read The Handmaiden’s Tale. It is the scariest book I’ve read in a long time.

 “Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you’d be boiled to death before you knew it.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

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